It’s hard to believe over one year has passed since I wrote my first blog post about my decision to teach English in an unknown location in South Korea. It’s even harder to believe more than one week has passed since I had to say goodbye to the strange and beautiful place I actually ended up calling home. Although it’s been an emotional adjustment so far, I’m happy to say I am back in the US one year wiser, five pounds slimmer, 12 student loan payments down, and countless friends plus two puppies richer – and I can say without a doubt that crazy year in Korea was the most challenging, fulfilling and life- changing experience I’ve had on this beautiful planet. I know I’ve only begun to understand how deeply I’ve grown as a result of that year in Korea, but I’ve taken some time to reflect on what I believe the be the biggest lessons I learned through the enriching challenges I experienced as a foreign English teacher abroad:
“Fake it ‘til you become it.” Not too long ago I watched an interesting TEDTalks given by Amy Cuddy, who explains how our body language shapes what others think of us and ultimately what we think of ourselves. Cuddy offers a slight change to the catchphrase, “fake it ‘til you make it,” which is popular advice given to those who want to succeed at something new and unfamiliar. Cuddy demonstrates through her own experience and research that if you act powerful through your body language, you actually become that powerful over time. In other words, you “fake it ‘til you become it.” Stand up straight even if you don’t feel powerful, speak in your upbeat “big girl” voice even if you don’t feel confident, smile even if you don’t feel happy – these changes, when done with consistency over time will actually make you into a solidly more powerful, confident and happier person. I found this to be true in my experience interacting with Koreans for the first time, teaching in front of a classroom for the first time and I can come up with countless examples of how this has proven to be true other times in my life as well. If you act confident on the outside, others will think you’re confident, and after a while of acting confident you will start to feel more confident, and before you know it you won’t be acting anymore. You are confident.
Believe that person you love also loves you back. In other words, believe that person you like also likes you back. Believe that person you appreciate also appreciates you back. Believe that person you understand also understands you back. The truth is we have no way of knowing how another person truly feels about us unless they show it or say it directly, and unfortunately not everyone is good at openly expressing themselves like that. Add in language barriers, cultural differences, personality clashes and ever-changing emotions, and you have a perfect recipe for miscommunication and misunderstanding everywhere you go. So rather than trying to rationalize someone else’s behavior when you don’t understand it, choose instead to always believe the best. Assume that person has good intentions and that they feel the exact same way about you as you feel about them. This mindset does wonders to prevent the stress caused by misjudging others, making incorrect assumptions and wrongfully rationalizing someone’s ambiguous behavior. You’d be surprised how often a positive belief about someone reveals itself to be true in real life. And even if it doesn’t, by simply believing the best in someone else you elevate yourself from potential negativity.
Respectfully say “No” to close relationships with people who don’t appreciate your best qualities. Say “No” to habits that provide short-term happiness instead of long-term fulfillment. Say “No” to anything that undermines your chosen values and morals. Recognize when it’s time to walk away from a person or situation that is no longer serving you, and find the strength to…
Courageously say “YES” to new and challenging situations. Say “YES” to people who find your flaws and quirks endearing. Say “YES” to experiencing different cultures and interacting with people from various backgrounds. Embrace uncertainty, walk tall into the unknown and accept that growth is uncomfortable.
“When the future comes you may have advanced so far, or changed so much, that the needs of your life will be entirely different from what they are in the present. Let every desire be just for today, and let that desire be prompted by the ruling desire of your life; that is, the desire to become
a more powerful personality, a stronger character, a more brilliant mind and a greater soul.”
– Christian D. Larson, The Ideal Made Real
Mind, Body 'N Seoul 